Well, folks, I’m going to have to put my big-girl pants on in a few short weeks. And NOT because I’ve gained weight. I’m about to be a broke college student and, as a certified shopaholic, I’ve come to realize that I’m going to have to suppress my addiction in order to pay for adult things like books and food.
I’ve heard stories about eating Ramen noodles three meals a day. The people who tell these tales say it like it’s a bad thing! I will have you know that I’ve been enjoying a steaming, well-seasoned bowl while writing this! These antagonistic, academic Aesops are not giving me much hope when it comes to my…um…addiction.
I’ve done all the calculations. If I consume three packages per day, seven days a week, and the cost holds steady at $1 per package, I’ll need $21 a week to survive…provided my college has running water that I can borrow…I’ll give it back, I promise. So all I need to do is write one blog and a few tweets per week, answer a few emails here and there, and I should be golden.
A New Kind Of Gig Economy
The truth is, I voiced my financial concerns to The Old Man and he informed me that the Gig Economy is still a thing. He even said that as long as I continue to work for him, I won’t be forced to resort to a Ramen-only diet and that he may even toss my service dog a bone. The plan, according to The Old Man, is for me to exercise my considerable shopping prowess by becoming a picker for the business. He said he’d send me a weekly allotment to make purchases...for the business, of course.
Where I Go From Here
I have to admit, I spend more money in retail stores than in thrift stores. However, considering my impending poverty, I NEED to make a change. If you are interested in following my progress, check out “College Student Diaries” on my…um, I mean our website! And, if you’re REALLY concerned about my welfare, please send me a care package of Ramen in the care of The Estate Preserve…I prefer spicy chicken…but beggars can’t be choosers.
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